If you’ve ever paused mid-article to Google something—or just nodded along while thinking, “I’m pretty sure I should know what that means”—you’re in good company.
This glossary is here to make sure that doesn’t happen again.
These are the terms I use most often when talking about autism, ADHD, parenting, emotional regulation, boundaries, and communication.
They’re explained in real-life terms so you can feel confident using them—and even better, teaching them to your kids.
I’ll keep adding as we go.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
A cognitive pattern where things are either great or a total disaster. Success or failure. Love or rejection.
It’s common in ADHD, autism, anxiety, and trauma.
Learning to find the “gray space” in between can change everything.
Alexithymia
Alexithymia is a trait where a person has difficulty identifying, describing, and expressing their own emotions. It’s not a mental disorder on its own, but rather a way of processing (or struggling to process) feelings.
Body Doubling
Having someone nearby while you do a task, which helps with focus and follow-through.
Not because they’re helping—just because they’re there.
It’s like having an anchor or accountability partner without saying a word.
Boundaries
Boundaries are like invisible fences or signs that say, “This is okay with me” or “This is not okay.”
They help people know how to treat us—and help us treat other people with respect too.
A boundary can be about your body (like not wanting hugs), your time (needing a break), your feelings (not wanting to be teased), or your stuff (not wanting someone to go through your phone).
Having boundaries doesn’t mean you’re being rude.
It means you’re being clear—and that actually helps people trust you more.
Good boundaries = safer friendships, less drama, and more real connection.
Clarification
Slowing down a conversation to make sure you understand (and are being understood).
Clarification isn’t about correcting people—it’s about making space for accuracy, safety, and connection.
Essential skill for anyone—but especially if you’re neurodivergent or have social anxiety.
Demand Avoidance
When someone feels intense resistance to doing things—even things they want to do—because the feeling of being told what to do triggers anxiety or overwhelm.
Can be extreme (as in PDA: Pathological Demand Avoidance) or more subtle. Not laziness. Not defiance. It’s a nervous system in survival mode.
Double-Empathy Problem
I wrote an article about this here.
Emotional Regulation
The ability to manage, express, and recover from your emotions in ways that don’t wreck your relationships (or your day).
Not the same as suppressing emotions. It’s about feeling them without being drowned by them.
Executive Function
The brain’s CEO. It’s in charge of planning, organizing, starting tasks, finishing them, managing time, remembering stuff, shifting between activities, and keeping your emotions in check.
When executive function is lagging (as it often is in ADHD or autism), it’s like trying to manage your life with half the staff on vacation.
Hyperfocus
A state of intense concentration where everything else fades out—hunger, time, even people talking to you.
Common in ADHD and autism. Can be incredibly productive or wildly inconvenient. The flip side of distractibility.
Interoception
Your body’s internal radar. It helps you feel what’s going on inside—like hunger, thirst, needing the bathroom, a racing heart, or butterflies in your stomach.
When interoception is underdeveloped (common in ADHD and autism), it can be hard to notice those signals—or know what they mean.
🔗 Kelly Mahler’s explanation
Masking
When a neurodivergent person hides, tones down, or disguises their natural behaviors to “blend in” or avoid judgment.
Examples: forcing eye contact, laughing when confused, pretending to understand, hiding stimming, or faking confidence.
It’s not lying—it’s survival. But it can lead to serious burnout over time.
Meltdown vs. Tantrum
Tantrum: A child (or adult) is trying to get something.
Meltdown: A child (or adult) is trying to survive something.
Meltdowns are full-body overwhelm, often caused by sensory overload or emotional flooding—not manipulation.
Parallel Play (in friendships)
A way of socializing where people do activities side-by-side without needing to talk much. Think: building Legos next to each other, gaming together silently, or just existing in the same room.
It’s a perfectly valid and deeply satisfying way to connect—especially for autistic or introverted folks.
Rejection Sensitivity (RS or RSD)
A strong, sometimes overwhelming emotional reaction to perceived rejection, criticism, or being left out.
It’s not just about being “too sensitive”—it’s a brain-based, body-level reaction. Common in ADHD and trauma survivors. Can lead to people-pleasing, lashing out, or shutting down.
Sensory Sensitivity / Sensory Processing
Refers to how someone experiences sounds, lights, textures, smells, tastes, and movement.
Some people are hypersensitive (everything feels too loud, too bright, too much), while others are hyposensitive (they seek more intense input).
It’s not a quirk—it’s a nervous system reality.
Stimming
Short for “self-stimulatory behavior.” These are repetitive movements or sounds that help regulate emotions or sensory input.
Common stims: hand-flapping, rocking, tapping fingers, humming, repeating words.
They’re not harmful—and they’re often really helpful.
Task Initiation
The ability to start something without getting stuck in dread, distraction, or overwhelm.
Not “just do it” energy. For neurodivergent folks, starting can feel like trying to push a car uphill—with your brain in the driver’s seat and no gas pedal in sight.
Time Blindness
When your brain can’t reliably sense the passage of time. You might feel like 10 minutes passed when it’s been two hours—or vice versa.
Often shows up as chronic lateness, procrastination, or “I have plenty of time”... until you don’t.
Not a moral failing. A neurological difference.
🔄 Need This Again?
Save this post or bookmark it—I’ll keep adding terms as they come up in future posts.
And if there's ever a word or phrase that makes you think, “Wait… what does that actually mean?” —drop it in the comments. I’ll explain it in plain English.
You’re not behind. You’re just learning—and you’re allowed to ask.