25 Green Flags That Say “This Person Might Make A Good Friend”
What if you stopped trying to earn friendship and started looking for people who already feel good to be around?
If you’re AuDHD like me, you’ve probably spent way too much time wondering if someone actually likes you… or if you just happen to be convenient, amusing, or tolerable enough that they haven’t ditched you yet.
That guessing game? Exhausting.
So let’s flip the script. Instead of watching for red flags to avoid, what if we looked for green flags to move toward?
This post is a nervous system love letter for people who’ve been told they’re too intense, too sensitive, or too much to handle in relationships.
It’s a guide to what friendship can feel like: safe, easy-ish, and good for your brain.
You’ll find the full list of 25 green flags below.
They don’t flinch at your quirks.
You stim, info-dump, or go quiet mid-conversation—and they don’t get weird about it. Maybe they smile. Maybe they even match your energy. That’s gold.
They ask real questions.
Not just “How are you?” but “What’s your week been like?” or “What helps when you’re overwhelmed?” They’re not just making small talk—they’re making space.
They don’t punish honesty.
You say you need to reschedule. You admit you’re fried. And instead of passive-aggressive silence or ghosting, they say, “Thanks for telling me.” Greenest of green flags.
They accept “no” without needing a reason.
They don’t press for explanations. They don’t guilt-trip. They trust that your no is valid. That’s someone who respects boundaries, not just tolerates them.
They’re consistent, not confusing.
You don’t have to guess how they feel about you. You don’t have to decode double meanings. You don’t need a secret decoder ring to be friends.
They don’t try to “fix” you.
They’re not giving you unsolicited advice every time you vent. They listen. They reflect. They get that support doesn’t mean solutions unless you ask for them.
They celebrate your passions, even if they’re not into them.
You talk about your niche obsession and they don’t roll their eyes. They might not love it like you do, but they love that you love it.
They repair after a misunderstanding.
They don’t disappear when things get awkward. They reach out. They check in. They want to work through it—not walk away from it.
They give you space without disappearing.
They understand that “needing time alone” doesn’t mean “I hate you.” They respect your silence without assuming the worst.
They feel calm, not exhausting.
You don’t walk away from every interaction with a social hangover. In fact, sometimes you even feel better after being around them. That’s a nervous system green flag.
They laugh with you, not at you.
Your humor lands. Your stories don’t get side-eyed. You’re not the punchline—they’re laughing with you, not at you.
They don’t mock your sensitivities.
Bright lights, itchy tags, loud sounds—whatever it is, they don’t act like you’re “too much.” They treat your sensitivities like real needs, not dramatic preferences.
They match your communication pace.
If you need time between replies or send 47 messages at once—they adjust. They don’t shame you for how you text. They meet you where you are.
They’re willing to learn what works for you.
They ask what helps. They notice what doesn’t. They want to get you, not just “put up with” you.
They remember the little things.
Not every detail, but the important ones. Your comfort food. Your favorite stim toy. That random fact you shared three months ago.
They apologize when they mess up—and mean it.
No deflection. No defensiveness. Just, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I’ll do better.” That’s maturity.
They don’t need you to perform to earn their time.
You don’t have to mask, entertain, or explain your worth. They show up even when you’re low-energy, low-spoons, or low-key awkward.
They celebrate your wins—even the weird ones.
You finished a task that’s “easy” for everyone else? They cheer like you won a medal—because they know how much it took.
They let you be quiet without trying to fill the silence.
No awkward small talk. No pressure to perform. Just shared space that feels safe and still.
They can handle your emotions without needing you to tone them down.
You cry. You spiral. You overthink. They don’t freak out or try to shut it down. They ride it out with you.
They don’t get defensive when you set a boundary.
You say, “That doesn’t work for me,” and they say, “Got it.” No guilt. No gaslighting. Just respect.
They show up when it matters.
Not always, not perfectly—but reliably. They remember your appointment, text before your big day, or just check in when you’re quiet.
They let you stim, flap, ramble, or pause without commentary.
You’re not told to sit still, talk less, or “act normal.” You get to be a whole person, not a polished version.
They offer comfort your way, not theirs.
They don’t assume what you need—they ask. They give you space, snacks, or memes. Not hugs, unless you asked for those too.
They make you feel like more of yourself—not less.
You don’t shrink around them. You don’t edit yourself. You feel seen—and safe to show up fully.
And if you want to really get the most out of this list—
☑️ Reflective exercises
☑️ A how-to guide for using this list in real life
☑️ A printable workbook you can scribble all over
That’s all included when you become a paid subscriber for just $5/month.
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👉 Click below to upgrade and unlock it all. Because knowing what to look for is the first step in finding people who make you feel more like yourself—not less.
Let me know which green flag hits hardest. I read every comment.
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