Autism, Storytelling & Taking the Leap with J.D. Barker
Riffin' About Life with Brian R. King
In this conversation, I sit down with bestselling author J.D. Barker to talk about what it really takes to walk away from a “safe” corporate life and build a creative one that actually fits your brain. We get into autism, marriage, risk, writing routines, parenting an autistic child, and why imperfect first drafts matter more than perfect ideas.
Questions Answered in This Episode
How did J.D. Barker go from a corporate compliance job to a full-time writing career?
What role did his wife play in helping him take that leap into authorship?
How did ghostwriting and behind-the-scenes work prepare him for his own books?
How has being autistic shaped his mindset, problem-solving, and relationships?
How did therapy and an anger management referral lead to his autism diagnosis?
How do he and his wife navigate marriage when one partner is autistic?
Why have they chosen not to tell their autistic daughter about her diagnosis yet?
How does J.D. handle criticism from editors, publishers, and readers?
What does he really think about AI, creativity, and the future of writing?
What practical advice does he have for perfectionist writers who struggle to start?
Full Transcript
[00:00] Brian R. King: Hey there, J.D. Barker. I love the library behind you, man.
[00:15] J.D. Barker: Thanks. When you locked me down for COVID, I built stuff. My dad was a contractor, so he dragged me to every job site when I was a kid. I hated it back then. But when you own a house, suddenly you know how to do all these things. Apparently building bookcases is my thing.
[00:30] Brian R. King: Yeah, you never know when those gifts and contributions are going to show up, huh?
[00:45] J.D. Barker: I just built my daughter a treehouse out back that is pretty cool. Normally I am stuck behind a desk in my own head. Getting out to build something physical is fun.
[01:00] Brian R. King: That is beautiful. I am lousy with my hands. My dad and my brothers are excellent. They can fix things. They have an intuition for it. They understand wiring and all that. For me it goes in one ear and out the other.
Before we jump in, I want to ask you a question. When you wake up in the morning, are there any specific values you are committed to living?
[01:15] J.D. Barker: I made a huge change. For years I worked a corporate job that I hated. I would come home and write at night. I did that to pay the bills. I had been told you need a “real” job, you cannot make a living as a writer.
I have been a full-time professional author for 11 years now. So when I wake up in the morning, I am waking up with my wife and family, doing exactly what I love to do. There is nothing I would change about it.
[01:30] Brian R. King: How do you go from a corporate job to being a full-time writer? And I ask this selfishly, not just for anybody listening.
[01:45] J.D. Barker: I get this a lot, and I talk about it because many people are not willing to pull this particular trigger. My parents told me writing is a fantastic hobby, but you cannot make a living at it. Get a real job.
So I went to college, got multiple degrees, and ended up working in finance. My last “real” job, I was a chief compliance officer at a brokerage firm. It is as horrible as it sounds. It is like being responsible for lost luggage at the airport or internal affairs at the police department. Everyone is glad it exists when they need it, but otherwise no one wants to see you.
I would come home and write at night to stay sane. That was my fun. Eventually I started working on other people’s projects. I stumbled into a side hustle as a book doctor and ghostwriter. I wrote a ton of memoirs for other people.
[02:00] J.D. Barker: I did that for 23 years. A job I hated during the day, then the stuff I loved at night. I ended up with six different books that hit the New York Times list, all with other people’s names on the cover, and I had written them as a ghostwriter. That gets old.
My wife pulled me aside and said, “I know you want to become a full-time author. Let’s figure out how to make this happen.” But we were stuck. I had a decent salary. That meant a big house, cars, an expensive lifestyle. We could not just walk away.
She came up with a crazy plan. We sold everything we owned. We bought a tiny duplex in Pittsburgh for cash. We rented out one side and moved into the other. We lived off savings long enough for me to write that first book. There is nothing like putting your feet to the coals to make something happen. Without that push, I would probably still be behind that desk doing something I hate instead of something I love.
[02:15] Brian R. King: And that leap was your wife’s idea.
[02:30] J.D. Barker: Yeah. I was going through the motions, doing what I thought I was supposed to do. None of my friends liked their jobs either, so I assumed that is just life. You do something you hate to pay the bills and squeeze out a little fun on weekends. I did not realize another way was even possible.
I was 43 when I wrote my first book.
[02:45] Brian R. King: And you already had the track record that showed you could write books that land on the New York Times list. So at some point you thought, “Why don’t I write one for myself and put my own name on it?” What was that first book?
[03:00] J.D. Barker: The first one was called Forsaken. It is a horror novel. A writer is working on a book about a witch from the Salem witch trials. He does not know she was real. She uses what he is writing to bring herself back.
It is a fairly scary story. I got really lucky. Stephen King read an advance copy and let me use some of his characters from Needful Things in it. That gave me a big boost at the beginning.
[03:15] Brian R. King: Wow. That was very generous of him.
[03:30] J.D. Barker: Yeah. He is a really nice guy.
[03:45] Brian R. King: I have not met him, but I have seen a lot of his talks. He does seem very down to earth.
When you released that first book, how was it received?
[04:00] J.D. Barker: At first, nothing spectacular. I indie published it, but I did it in a way that felt comparable to the big houses. We put out hardcover, paperback, ebook, audiobook. I hired professionals across the board so it looked and felt like it came from one of the top five publishers.
There was not much marketing behind it though. It hit the market and sold decently based on word of mouth, but nothing crazy. So I reached out to a friend of mine who used to do publicity for rock bands in Los Angeles back in the 80s and 90s. She was a publicist. I brought her on to promote the book.
[04:15] J.D. Barker: She wrote about my connection with Stephen King and how that came about. I had tried to go to his house. I printed a copy of the manuscript, jumped in the car, and drove toward his place. We never actually got there. I ended up reaching him through a mutual friend.
But the story of that journey, the attempt to get to him, was written up and published. When that happened, librarians heard about the book. Bookstore owners heard about it. That ignited things. Once that took off, word of mouth carried it.
[04:30] Brian R. King: You not only have incredible talent, you have one heck of a network. The exact people you needed were already there.
[04:45] J.D. Barker: I am very good at networking and keeping contact info. I love the business side just as much as the writing side.
When I hit a wall, I see it as a challenge. Some new thing to overcome. I usually find a way around it and most of the time I come out better on the other side.
Networking in general is huge. This publicist was someone I had not talked to in 15 or 20 years. When we reconnected, it felt like we had just spoken a week earlier. It was fun for her to do something different too.
Everybody you meet is a potential contact. Someone who could help you. Someone you might help. I pay it forward as much as I can, and a lot of that comes back.
[05:00] Brian R. King: Your mindset is spectacular. Have you always gravitated toward this kind of thinking, or did you arrive at it over time?
[05:15] J.D. Barker: A lot of it is because I am autistic. I was diagnosed at 22 with what they called Asperger’s at the time. Today you are just “on the spectrum” somewhere.
If you put a problem in front of me, I will find a way to solve it. If I do not, it feels like there is a voice screaming in the back of my head saying, “You need to solve this,” and it gets louder until I do.
[05:30] Brian R. King: I know that voice very well.
[05:45] J.D. Barker: When I talk to other autistic people, we have all been there. I see these issues as hurdles. I look for solutions. For better or worse, that has worked out for me.
[06:00] Brian R. King: I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was 35. Like you said, if I find a reality intolerable, and I feel like I can change it, I will gnaw on it like a dog on a bone until I find a solution.
[06:15] J.D. Barker: Sometimes I drive myself nuts with it.
[06:30] Brian R. King: It is an incredible quality when you want to move forward in life.
[06:45] J.D. Barker: My wife and I have been together 13 years. She knows not to put a problem in front of me at night. I will literally get off the couch or out of bed to solve it. I cannot wait until the next day. It is like flipping a switch. I have to deal with it now.
[07:00] Brian R. King: If I do not deal with it, I fall asleep with relentless question-asking in my head. “Do I write it down? Do I trust I will remember in the morning?”
That voice is nagging, but it is also a driving factor.
[07:15] Brian R. King: So, you were clearly autistic long before the diagnosis. How did the people closest to you handle that? Your wife in particular.
How was she with you before the diagnosis? Did she see signs? Or did she get on your case about behaviors she did not understand?
[07:30] J.D. Barker: I actually met her after I was diagnosed, so we had that conversation early. One thing autistic people tend to do, and I do this, is mimic others in social situations.
When I was dating, I would put on a persona. I could carry it for a few hours on a date, but I could not carry it 24/7. Eventually the mask comes off and the real autistic me shows up.
When I knew I was in love with her, I sat her down and said, “I am autistic. This is what I have. This is what it means.” We had a long conversation.
[07:45] J.D. Barker: Then we got a therapist who specializes in relationships between autistic partners and non-autistic partners. We started that process from the beginning because I did not want surprises.
I did not want to put her through something she was not ready for. I did not want to put myself in a situation I could not sustain. We hit it head-on. That was huge. We solved a lot of problems early. We really understood each other long before we got married. We are still together and still happy, so it worked.
[08:00] Brian R. King: I have not seen that level of proactivity in many couples. Usually when people approach me, it is, “My hard-headed husband has autism, insists everyone else is the problem, and refuses to change.”
You had already lived that once.
[08:15] J.D. Barker: Yeah, I had been married once before. I had been that person. That is why I wanted to get it right the second time.
She knows me inside and out. If we are talking and I am not making eye contact, she knows I am paying more attention than if I force eye contact. If I force eye contact, there is a little voice saying “keep eye contact, keep eye contact,” which means I am not listening.
So if I am staring off into space, I am probably memorizing every word. She knows my quirks and I know hers. Luckily, we have not scared each other off yet.
[08:30] Brian R. King: It is beautiful that you allowed that level of vulnerability. That you let her know you that well.
My wife is my second marriage too, and my last. She is my priority. She has helped me become the best version of myself because she is so accepting. It sounds like you found that too.
[08:45] J.D. Barker: You need a partner who is willing to do that. This is true for any couple, not just when autism is involved. You need someone who complements you. Your better half, your other half.
Two people who are the same often do not work. It takes different plus different. Combined, you become something neither of you could be alone.
[09:00] Brian R. King: I love that. My wife has ADHD, but she rocks the executive functions I need and am terrible at. She is an organizational wizard.
To find somebody who complements you, you first need to be aware of your own shortcomings and accept them. I do not know what percentage of people refuse to do that, but I think it is significant.
You are a key example of what happens when you let someone balance you out and you trust them enough to let them in. You become a great team, and you also become a better individual.
[09:15] J.D. Barker: When I was first diagnosed, I was in the corporate world. My boss thought I had anger management issues.
I was fantastic with data. Being autistic, I analyzed every transaction that went through the brokerage and compared it to all the rules and regulations. When something looked like a problem, I had to deal with it. That meant confronting people, and that often turned into tense situations.
My boss recognized I was great at one part of the job and bad at the people side. So he sent me to anger management classes.
[09:30] J.D. Barker: I had an initial interview with the therapist. Twenty minutes in she stopped me and said, “Have you ever been tested for autism?”
I did not really know what it was. She pointed out that the whole time we talked, I never made eye contact. She noticed I rubbed my thumb and forefinger together when I was thinking. She named all these little things I had done my whole life.
Her day job was working with autistic children and she taught anger management at night. Everything kind of happened for a reason.
[09:45] Brian R. King: Wonderful how the stars line up.
[10:00] J.D. Barker: I was 22. Once she put that in front of me, I was able to research it. Then, like anything else, it became something I could understand and work with.
We started categorizing: these are the benefits, these are the negatives. I doubled down on the benefits and worked to correct the negatives. I have done that for more than 20 years. I am 54 now and still doing it every day.
Because I had that relationship with a therapist early on, I have continued therapy through the years. That has been huge. Without it, you are locked in your own bubble. You do not realize what you are doing or not doing. It takes an outside person to point it out. That has helped me grow a lot. I would not be where I am today without it.
[10:15] Brian R. King: You mentioned it takes an outside person to point things out. Do you welcome that kind of feedback?
[10:30] J.D. Barker: I hate it at first. Then I step back. Most of the time I realize they are right.
It is like having an argument with your spouse. You push back, then you take ten minutes, breathe, and realize they might have a point.
I try to take everything with a grain of salt. I run into this a lot in publishing. I write a book, turn it in to my agent, then to editors. Many people point out things they do not like or want changed. Over the years I have developed a thick skin and learned to stay open.
[10:45] Brian R. King: What kind of issues do they raise?
[11:00] J.D. Barker: Often it is story-related. A character does not work for them. The dialogue does not match the person they have in their head. Sometimes the story is not quite where they want it. It can be anything.
[11:15] Brian R. King: They can really stick their nose in the creative process, the way studios do in Hollywood when they get too involved and wreck a movie.
[11:30] J.D. Barker: Oh, absolutely. I have eight different books in what I call various stages of Hollywood hell. I have learned to step away. The only thing that is truly mine is the book. When I write it, those are my words.
The second I turn it in, editors and marketing people get their hands on it. Changes are made. An audiobook narrator performs it, and suddenly it is their take on the book. So the only piece that is really mine is the text I turned in.
It is like sending your kid off to college. You open the door, hand them a bag, wish them well. At some point they are not your responsibility in the same way.
[11:45] Brian R. King: And your ability to shape them goes out the window. Now they have professors and peers and everything else.
[12:00] J.D. Barker: At some point, as a parent, you become an observer in your child’s life. You can offer guidance, but they are driving the car.
[12:15] Brian R. King: Amen to that. You have one daughter. How old is she now?
[12:30] J.D. Barker: She just turned eight in September.
[12:45] Brian R. King: Awesome. And she is autistic as well?
[13:00] J.D. Barker: She is, but not to the extent I am. I watched closely from the time she was a baby. Eye contact, how she interacted with others. She has zero problem with social situations, which is fantastic.
Most of the major social stuff is fine. The challenges have been more on the learning side. I was not diagnosed until 22. She was diagnosed much earlier and has a team of support people around her, which is fantastic.
[13:15] Brian R. King: How does she navigate it?
[13:30] J.D. Barker: She does not know. We have not told her.
[13:45] Brian R. King: She does not know. Interesting.
[14:00] J.D. Barker: At her age, we feel she is too young to fully understand it. Her teachers are supportive. The school has been supportive. They have tailored her learning experience to her needs.
Because of that, we have not had a reason yet to have that full conversation.
[14:15] Brian R. King: Does she have extra support services at school?
[14:30] J.D. Barker: She does.
[14:45] Brian R. King: And she has not asked why she gets extra support and other kids do not?
[15:00] J.D. Barker: No. We are ready to answer that when it comes up, but we feel it should come from her.
[15:15] Brian R. King: That is an interesting approach. Let it come organically.
[15:30] J.D. Barker: Yeah.
[15:45] Brian R. King: I can see that helping, as opposed to parents who refuse to tell their kid at all because they fear stigma. They do not realize the long-term damage of hiding it.
I really hope it goes smoothly when she does come to you.
[16:00] J.D. Barker: We will see. Check back in a couple of years.
[16:15] Brian R. King: I will mark it on my calendar.
I have so many questions. It is amazing listening to you and seeing everything you have accomplished.
[16:30] J.D. Barker: I hate to do this. Is there any chance we could hit pause? I have an electrician ringing my doorbell, and if I do not talk to him…
[16:45] Brian R. King: We had to take a brief pause while life did its thing, but we are back. J.D., I wanted to ask about your writing. Are there certain sources of inspiration? Do you need to do heavy research to nail things historically, like the Salem witch trial details?
[17:00] J.D. Barker: Not always. I literally get paid to make stuff up. I do not know if we can swear on here.
[17:15] Brian R. King: Legal Fortnite.
[17:30] J.D. Barker: Ideas come from weird places. For example, I had a book come out called Behind a Closed Door. It is about a husband and wife. I had those characters in mind for four or five years. They had been married about ten years. The husband comes very close to cheating, but does not. It is close enough to shake them.
They decide they want to save the marriage and know they need help. I knew I wanted to open with them in a therapist’s office, but beyond that, I had nothing. I just knew that was a decent opener.
[17:45] J.D. Barker: Fast forward. My wife and I are eating dinner. She does a lot of real estate and had just bought a big house in Georgia with seven bathrooms. We were talking about renovations. I said, “Maybe call Bath Fitters.” We have all seen their ads.
That night we saw Bath Fitters ads everywhere. TV, phones, social media. Any screen we looked at. So I started researching and realized our phones listen to us 24/7. We agree to that in the terms of service. My phone is sitting here listening to this conversation, pulling out keywords, and feeding that into marketing.
[18:00] J.D. Barker: I started thinking: what happens to that data? Who owns it? What can they use it for? Then I paired that with the husband and wife in therapy.
In the story, the therapist recommends an app called Sugar and Spice, basically Truth or Dare for adults. They put it on their phones, which opens the door to the people who own their data. The app starts with simple truth-or-dare questions, then escalates.
At one point the wife gets a prompt that says, “Would you kill a total stranger to save someone you love?” She clicks yes. A map pops up with a pin and a timer. Then things get crazy from there.
That whole book came from combining two unrelated things: the couple in therapy and that Bath Fitters ad creepiness.
[18:15] Brian R. King: That is wild.
One thing I want to emphasize, because my youngest son has the same issue, is this. He thinks it all needs to be perfect before he puts pen to paper. He has ideas bursting out every day.
You mentioned needing to write things to really understand them. I am the same. I do not know what I think or feel about something until I write it out. In my head, it is too scrambled.
[18:30] Brian R. King: I encourage people to write, but they trip over themselves because they think punctuation and spelling matter at the start. I tell them, “No. Just write.”
Give yourself enough grace to mess up. Throw out a couple of pages when you realize they will not work, then get back to it instead of beating yourself up.
It sounds like that is your practice too.
[18:45] J.D. Barker: Yeah. I do not get hung up on grammar, punctuation, or even the storytelling at the very beginning. It is about getting the story down on paper.
I have learned to edit as I go. I write about two to three thousand words a day. I start by reading what I wrote the day before. I clean it up, edit, make changes. By the time I reach the end of that, I am warmed up and keep going with the story.
Because I edit as I go, by the time I finish the book it is usually pretty clean. There are still multiple drafts, but the heavy lifting is done.
[19:00] J.D. Barker: For people starting out, I think it is best to just get the words down. You can always clean it up. Get a first draft with a beginning, middle, and end. Then you expand and improve.
You can always fix it. If you never put it on paper, you never leave the garage.
[19:15] Brian R. King: That is the truth. You have to start if you want to get anywhere. If you think anything you do has to be right the first time or perfect, you will never begin.
Allow yourself the opportunity to be messy. Make a mess. Clean it up later.
[19:30] J.D. Barker: You do not have to show it to anybody while it is messy. Just get it done.
[19:45] Brian R. King: Amen.
Is there one particular story from your life that you think really represents who you are?
[20:00] J.D. Barker: I think the big change of becoming an author and pulling that trigger sums up a lot. It changed me. I talk about it all the time.
It is something I will instill in our daughter. Chase your dreams. These years fly by. One day you are 70 in a rocking chair on a porch. You do not want to look back and think, “What if?”
[20:15] J.D. Barker: At the same time, I feel like I did it at the right time in my life. I could have started writing novels in my twenties, but I learned a lot over those 20-some years working behind the scenes. I worked for agents and editors, helped people get published, helped fine-tune their novels.
All of that improved my skill set. Without that knowledge, I do not know if my books would be hitting the way they are now.
[20:30] Brian R. King: You are also great at putting yourself in the situations you need to be in to learn what you want to learn.
[20:45] J.D. Barker: There is that too. You have to recognize opportunities. They can fly right by if you do not grab them.
[21:00] Brian R. King: Ain’t that the truth. There is a lot we could dive into around self-worth and seeing opportunities. But man, you are one dynamite human being.
I love your mindset. I am in awe of what you have accomplished. I am trying to think if there is some way to download your brain, because I would love to understand what you understand so I can execute it.
[21:15] J.D. Barker: Based on what I am seeing with AI, I do not think that is too far off.
[21:30] Brian R. King: People give AI too much credit. I love it, but there is a certain human intuition I am not sure AI can ever duplicate.
[21:45] J.D. Barker: It is not there yet. If I try to brainstorm a story with AI, it is like talking to a piece of cardboard. It can only tell me what it has been taught.
I write a lot of books with James Patterson. We will get on the phone and brainstorm, and he comes up with ideas that are so crazy and out of left field. It takes a human mind to do that.
That said, I do not think we are far from AI having a truly creative thought. When that happens, it will be a game changer. But I still do not think it will replace me. It might write a novel, but it will be in its own voice.
[22:00] J.D. Barker: You have probably gotten emails where you start reading and think, “That is ChatGPT.” It has its own voice. We have all learned to recognize it.
One day it might write a novel, but it will be a novel in ChatGPT’s voice. It will not be a Stephen King novel or a J.D. Barker novel. That is never going to happen.
[22:15] Brian R. King: Yeah. I use chat tools to organize my brain. To organize everything. I am writing my first novel now. Everything else I have written has been non-fiction, except for two children’s books.
I am writing it because I asked my wife a question and thought, “I can do something with this.” It was an interesting question. Like you said, I started teasing it out.
I wrote the idea down. Then characters came to mind, so I wrote out who they were. It all started flowing. Now I am writing Chapter 8.
[22:30] J.D. Barker: There you go.
[22:45] Brian R. King: There are a lot of valuable lessons in your story. I hope people take time not only to listen, but to take notes.
Think about what they have been sitting on the fence about and use you as a model for what can be done.
So thanks, man. I really appreciate you talking. It has been great.
[23:00] J.D. Barker: Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
[23:15] Brian R. King: Alright. Take care, man.
[23:30] J.D. Barker: Take care.
Key Takeaways
A “safe” corporate job can quietly drain your life, even if it looks successful on paper. Paying attention to that inner friction is often the first invitation to change.
Sometimes the boldest leap is built on slow preparation: years of ghostwriting, studying the industry, and learning the business side gave J.D. the skills to thrive once he finally wrote his own books.
Autism can be a powerful engine for problem-solving and persistence when it is understood and supported instead of shamed or suppressed.
Honest conversations and proactive therapy made J.D. and his wife a stronger couple. They treated autism as a shared reality to navigate, not a secret to hide.
Writing does not start with perfection. It starts with messy first drafts, simple daily word counts, and a willingness to clean things up later. You cannot fix what you never put on the page.
AI can organize and support creative work, but it cannot replace a writer’s lived experience, intuition, and unique voice. That human weirdness is the part that makes stories land.
Thanks for listening and reading along. If this stirred something in you, take ten minutes today to put one messy idea on paper. That is how every “impossible” story begins.
Where can listeners connect with J.D. Barker
Listeners can connect with me through my website at www.jdbarker.com where you’ll find updates, books, and contact information.
Writer’s Ink Podcast:
His Wikipedia page is worth a look—WOW! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._D._Barker