Choosing Joy, Creating Kindness: The Art of Living Intentionally with Julie Rowe

🎙️Riffin' About Life with Brian R. King MSW

In this episode, I sit down with Julie Rowe, a retired lab technologist, author, and craft wizard who knows a thing or two about finding joy in unexpected places. We talk about how kindness connects strangers, the power of perspective in crisis, and how ADHD can shape creativity and community. Julie’s humor and stories—from wildfires to folded books—remind us that happiness isn’t a reward for comfort. It’s a choice we make even when everything’s on fire. Sometimes literally.

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Questions Answered in This Episode

• How do small acts of kindness ripple into bigger impact?

• What does it mean to choose joy in the middle of chaos?

• How did a wildfire teach Julie about emotional resilience?

• What’s the connection between ADHD and creativity?

• Why does food make such a powerful communication tool?

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Full Transcript

00:00 — Brian:
Well, hey there, Julie Rowe. Hi. I love all the craftiness behind you, and I can’t wait to get into that a little bit more. But I want to get a snapshot of who you are. So if you could just give me a sense of a couple of your core values—when you wake up, that’s how you’re going to live.

00:15 — Julie:
Excellent. One of them is I like making other people happy.

When I get up in the morning, I’m thinking about my family. My father’s in renal failure right now, so there are lots of medical appointments. I’m taking him into the city for those quite often. I think about my kids, both adults with healthcare jobs, which can get stressful. My husband and I are recently retired, so we’re not doing much of anything. It’s got to be refreshing—or crazy making.

It hasn’t really changed things for me, but he’s definitely a man of leisure now. That makes me feel a little stagnant. Useless? No. But I like to make other people happy—and lately, I’ve added making myself happy to the list.

00:45 — Brian:
Bingo. Now, how do you make other people happy? That sounds like a tall order.

01:00 — Julie:
Sometimes it’s the really little things. Smiling at someone when you’re out for a walk. The other day, I did my usual loop and crossed paths with the same couple twice. The second time, I gave them a big thumbs up and they laughed. Tiny interaction, big outcome. You go home feeling like someone actually saw you.

01:30 — Brian:
That’s what I think of as an act of kindness. A secondary benefit is people feel happy. When you’re kind, you allow others to feel seen.

01:45 — Julie:
Yes—and cared for in ways they may not get otherwise.

02:00 — Brian:
Depending on who they’re surrounded by.

02:15 — Julie:
Exactly. Years ago, I was out for an evening walk around nine o’clock. In northern Canada, that’s still daylight. A very pregnant woman waved me down and handed me a note—it said her name, address, and that she couldn’t speak English. She was lost.

Someone had told her to hand that note to a stranger if she couldn’t find her way home. So I took her to my house, got my car, and drove her home.

02:45 — Brian:
Thank goodness she picked you.

03:00 — Julie:
Right? She hugged me and kissed my cheek when we arrived. I thought later, what if she’d met someone unkind? It reminded me that choosing joy and compassion isn’t naive—it’s necessary.

03:30 — Brian:
You mentioned choosing joy. That’s powerful, and not easy. What do you mean by that?

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03:45 — Julie:
People wait for something to make them happy. But if you’re waiting, you’ll never be happy. It doesn’t come from outside. It comes from inside.

Let me give you a wild example. In 2016, my city—Fort McMurray, Alberta—had a massive wildfire. Ninety thousand people had to evacuate on one highway. It burned thousands of homes, even my favorite Denny’s. Tragic.

04:15 — Brian:
Now that’s a loss. Pancakes are sacred.

04:30 — Julie:
Exactly. Anyway, I’m driving with my dog, husband behind me with six cats, and everything’s burning. And I see this old 1970s boat of a car crawling down the highway. Music blaring. Two guys laughing, totally calm. Smoke pouring out—weed smoke, not fire—and they’re riding on rims.

They look over and shout, “Everything’s on fire! Who cares?”

And I thought, they’ve got it figured out. You don’t have to engage in negative emotions if you don’t want to. You can be in chaos and still choose joy.

05:00 — Brian:
That’s the metaphor right there: you can surf, swim, or drown. The wave comes either way.

05:15 — Julie:
Exactly.

I’ve learned that happiness doesn’t mean you can’t feel other emotions. It means you choose not to stay trapped in them.

05:45 — Brian:
You’re also an author, right? What do you write?

06:00 — Julie:
Romantic thrillers. Lots of danger, mystery, and a few dead bodies for spice. My background is in medical lab science, so I wrote a five-book series called The Outbreak Task Force. The last one came out during COVID. Not the best timing for pandemic stories.

06:30 — Brian:
You’re basically Nostradamus with a publishing deal.

06:45 — Julie:
Pretty much. I’d email my editor saying, “Called another one!”

One reader even told me my books helped him stay calm during COVID because they showed how governments and labs would respond. Fiction gave him a sense of control.

07:15 — Brian:
That says a lot about how knowledge can soothe fear. Understanding brings peace.

Speaking of peace—you also have ADHD.

07:30 — Julie:
I do. Got diagnosed at 55. I’d seen a therapist for depression, and during a session she asked if I’d ever been tested. Turns out, mild to moderate ADHD. The assessment took hours, but it made so much sense.

07:45 — Brian:
That must’ve re-framed a lot.

08:00 — Julie:
Oh yeah. For instance, school was my happy place. I’d show up right after the janitor opened the doors, sit in the hall doing homework, and greet everyone as they arrived. It lowered my anxiety and made me feel in control.

08:30 — Brian:
I totally get that. I like being early too—it lets the energy build slowly instead of walking into chaos.

08:45 — Julie:
Exactly. Later, I taught corporate communication workshops for twelve years. No official credentials, just experience and personality. I’d bake muffins for my students, set up coffee, and get there an hour early. Because food breaks barriers.

09:15 — Brian:
You literally fed people’s nervous systems before feeding their minds. Brilliant.

09:30 — Julie:
A manager once asked why I did it. I said, “Because I give a fuck.” If you meet a basic need—food, safety, belonging—you create trust. And that’s where learning happens.

09:45 — Brian:
That’s gold. Ever thought of writing a facilitation book?

10:00 — Julie:
Maybe someday. I’ve seen a lot of funny, human moments worth sharing.

10:15 — Brian:
Please do. We need more stories that teach connection instead of compliance.

10:30 — Julie:
I also found that food works across cultures. Even when I taught English to international professionals, offering food softened everything. Smiling doesn’t always translate, but food does.

10:45 — Brian:
Universal language of snacks.

11:00 — Julie:
Exactly.

And when I retired, I leaned into crafts. I fold books into art, make bookmarks, even turned a Harry Potter hardcover into a purse. It’s my ADHD joy zone—two projects going at once, audiobook playing in the background.

11:30 — Brian:
You’re basically the MacGyver of happiness.

11:45 — Julie:
I’ll take that!

Now I teach others to craft too—especially older adults. It gets people out of isolation, using their hands, laughing together. That’s where joy lives. Not in the perfect outcome, but in the doing.

12:00 — Brian:
That’s beautiful. You’re proof that happiness isn’t passive—it’s handmade.

12:15 — Brian:
Now in addition to the food, do you ever show your crafts during those workshops?

12:30 — Julie:
Oh yes, I did. Here’s one of my favorites.

She holds up a folded book.

I’ve dog-eared a page before, but this is next level. Each page is measured, marked, and folded to create designs or words. It’s oddly satisfying—and yes, the book’s still readable.

12:45 — Brian:
That’s wild. It looks like sculpture meets story.

13:00 — Julie:
Exactly. My daughter’s a bookworm, and for her wedding, she wanted these on the reception tables. They cost $200 each on Etsy, so I thought, “No way.” I watched a few YouTube tutorials and learned to make them myself. That started the obsession.

13:15 — Brian:
Your ADHD probably loves that mix of focus and creativity.

13:30 — Julie:
It does. I can hyperfocus for hours, but I need stimulation—so I always have an audiobook or TV show running in the background. It keeps my brain balanced.

Most people can focus for 90 minutes tops, but with the right mix, I can go much longer.

13:45 — Brian:
You’ve basically hacked your attention span.

14:00 — Julie:
Pretty much. I notice the same thing when teaching. You can tell when people hit their limit—the fidgeting, the wandering eyes, the phone checks. That’s when I’d say, “Let’s take a break.” You’ve got to read the room.

14:15 — Brian:
That’s emotional intelligence at work. You’re not just teaching communication—you’re modeling it.

14:30 — Julie:
Exactly.

Now that I’m retired, my focus is writing and crafting. I just released a new book at the end of August, and when I’m not writing, I’m making bookmarks, cross-stitch pieces, and even purses out of hardcover books.

14:45 — Brian:
Wait—you turned a Harry Potter book into a purse?

15:00 — Julie:
Sure did. Took out the pages, lined it, added handles. My daughter’s using the pages for a junk journal. The whole project cost me about four bucks.

15:15 — Brian:
That’s ridiculously cool. You’ve reinvented upcycling into wizardry.

15:30 — Julie:
Ha! Thanks. I even teach workshops for creative people. One of my favorites is how to make “exploding box” cards.

15:45 — Brian:
Sounds dangerous—in a good way.

16:00 — Julie:
They’re 4x4 boxes that unfold into layered cards when you lift the lid. I made Christmas-themed ones with little figurines inside. Takes four to six hours each.

16:15 — Brian:
Wow. That’s love and patience in paper form.

16:30 — Julie:
It is—and it’s community too. I started teaching this at my mom’s 50-plus building. For fifteen bucks, everyone got to make a box. There’s one gentleman there with cerebral palsy who has great control of one finger.

He used that finger to help people hold pieces in place while they glued things. He became everyone’s extra hand.

16:45 — Brian:
That’s beautiful. Connection through creation.

17:00 — Julie:
Exactly. That’s the magic of crafting—you make more than objects. You make moments of belonging.

17:15 — Brian:
You’re teaching people to transform whatever they have—paper, time, mood—into something meaningful.

17:30 — Julie:
That’s what I hope.

It doesn’t take much to feel happy or purposeful. Sometimes it just means leaving the house and doing something with other people.

17:45 — Brian:
And giving your time and energy where it creates joy instead of draining it.

18:00 — Julie:
Yes. That’s how I see it.

18:15 — Brian:
That story about the man helping with one finger really got me. You created an environment where everyone mattered, no matter what their abilities were. That’s rare.

18:30 — Julie:
Thanks. I think it’s because I’ve always seen people for who they are, not just what they can do. Even when I was teaching corporate workshops, my goal was never just to get through the material—it was to make people feel like they belonged in the room.

18:45 — Brian:
That’s the difference between instruction and impact.

19:00 — Julie:
Exactly. You can throw information at people all day long, but unless you connect with them, it doesn’t stick.

19:15 — Brian:
And that’s what’s missing in so many workplaces and even relationships—connection first, message second.

19:30 — Julie:
That’s true. When you care enough to make someone comfortable, they’re more open to learning, to change, to communication. And it doesn’t have to be complicated—sometimes all it takes is a muffin and a smile.

19:45 — Brian:
I’m pretty sure “Muffins and a Smile” should be the title of your facilitation book.

20:00 — Julie:
Ha! You might be right. I’ll give you a shoutout when it happens.

20:15 — Brian:
Deal.

I’ve got to say, I could talk to you all day. You’ve got so many great stories that turn ordinary moments into life lessons.

20:30 — Julie:
Thank you, Brian. This has been such a fun conversation.

20:45 — Brian:
Same here. You remind me that joy isn’t something we chase—it’s something we practice.

21:00 — Julie:
Exactly. It’s a habit.

21:15 — Brian:
Well, Julie, I’m going to let you get back to your creativity and all those projects you’ve got going. But I’m keeping your contact info handy, because I have a feeling this isn’t our last chat.

21:30 — Julie:
I’d love that. Thank you so much for having me.

21:45 — Brian:
My pleasure. Take care of yourself, and keep spreading that happiness wherever you go.

22:00 — Julie:
Will do. Take care, Brian.

22:15 — Brian:
Bye for now.

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Key Takeaways

• Connection doesn’t require perfection—just genuine care.

• Teaching and communication are most powerful when they’re personal.

• Small acts of service—like baking or crafting—can become profound tools for inclusion.

• Happiness isn’t a feeling to chase but a practice to build.

• Creativity and kindness are renewable energy sources for the human spirit.

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Outro:
Talking with Julie reminded me that joy doesn’t demand ideal circumstances—it thrives in ordinary moments when we decide to show up with heart. Whether it’s coffee, crafts, or conversation, the invitation is always the same: choose connection, choose kindness, and happiness follows naturally.

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Links & Resources

• 🎙️ Listen to more episodes of Riffin About Life — Honest, funny, and deeply human conversations with Brian R. King and guests.

• ✍️ Follow Brian R. King on Substack for new stories, reflections, and neurodivergent wisdom each week.

• 📘 Find Julie Rowe’s novels on Amazon — including her Outbreak Task Force romantic thriller series.

• 📷 Connect with Julie on Instagram for behind-the-scenes peeks at her crafts, books, and creative life.

• 💡 Join Brian’s newsletter community to get exclusive content, downloads, and early access to interviews like this one.