“Do I Have ADHD… Or Is It Just Life?”
How to Tell the Difference Between ADHD and Everything Else Life Throws at Your Brain
Ever feel like your brain is a TV playing three shows at once—one’s a teen drama, one’s a cooking competition, and one’s a documentary about failure—and the remote’s been missing since Tuesday?
Yeah. Same.
More and more adults—especially parents of teens or young adults recently diagnosed with ADHD—are starting to ask the quiet question out loud:
“Wait… do I have it too?”
If that’s you, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not lazy, broken, or just really bad at being a grown-up.
New research by neurologist Dr. Susanna Mierau gives us a fresh lens for understanding how ADHD actually shows up in adults—and how often it hides behind anxiety, depression, burnout, and the daily chaos of parenting.
Let’s unpack what’s really going on when your brain just won’t brain.
🍂🍂🍂
ADHD Isn’t Just a Kid Thing (Or a Boy Thing)
You may have made it through childhood without anyone noticing. Maybe you were the daydreamer, the disorganized one, the one who got labeled “smart but scattered.” Maybe you were praised for your creativity but constantly punished for not “applying yourself.”
Now fast forward to adult life—with bills, work, kids, errands, appointments, and about 57 browser tabs in your head at all times—and the cracks start to show.
According to Dr. Mierau, many adults don’t discover they have ADHD until their systems of coping break down. The scaffolding of structure—school routines, family reminders, fewer life demands—starts to fall away, and what’s left is exhaustion, overwhelm, and wondering why basic things feel so hard.
🍂🍂🍂
But What If It’s Not ADHD?
That’s a totally valid question. And it’s where things get tricky.
Because ADHD isn’t the only thing that can fry your focus. Burnout, trauma, anxiety, depression, poor sleep, chronic pain, even hormonal changes—they can all look a lot like ADHD from the outside.
The key difference? ADHD isn’t triggered by stress. It’s constant. If your brain checks out even when you’re relaxed, even when nothing’s wrong, even when you’re doing something you enjoy—that’s a clue.
Anxiety, for example, often improves when your environment feels safe. ADHD does not. ADHD is like that one teen in your house who ignores you whether you’re yelling or whispering—because they’re just not listening either way.
🍂🍂🍂
So… How Do You Know?
According to Dr. Mierau, there are specific patterns clinicians look for:
You lose track of your own stories mid-sentence. Often.
You forget what you walked into a room to do. All the time.
You’re great at making plans—but terrible at starting them.
You feel overwhelmed even when you technically “have time.”
You impulse-buy, overcommit, snack when you’re not hungry, scroll instead of sleep, and constantly second-guess yourself.
And here’s the kicker: you’ve been like this since you were a kid. Even if no one noticed. Even if you were an honor roll student. Even if you’re “high-functioning.”
ADHD isn’t a temporary glitch. It’s a pattern of difficulty with self-regulation across time and situations—and the longer it goes unrecognized, the more tangled the consequences can get.
🍂🍂🍂
The Diagnosis Isn’t a Label—It’s a Life Raft
Getting diagnosed isn’t about putting yourself in a box. It’s about finally getting an answer to the question, “Why has life felt so hard for so long?”
It’s not an excuse. It’s an explanation. A flashlight in the fog.
And once you know what you’re working with, you can stop beating yourself up. You can stop trying to “just push through.” You can start working with your brain instead of against it.
For some people, medication is life-changing. For others, it’s therapy, structure, supportive relationships, or accommodations at work. But across the board—clarity helps.
And for parents raising neurodivergent kids? That clarity often ripples through the whole household.
When you start healing the way you talk to yourself, you’ll be better equipped to model self-compassion for your child. When you understand your own executive dysfunction, you’ll be more patient with theirs. It’s all connected.
🍂🍂🍂
The Bottom Line?
If you’ve been quietly wondering if your kid’s ADHD diagnosis has anything to do with your own struggles… trust that instinct.
You’re not broken. You’re not failing.
You’re just working with a brain that was never designed for this hustle culture, this pace of life, or these expectations.
And once you understand how your brain actually works? Everything starts to change.
🍂🍂🍂
Let’s Make This a Conversation
Has this hit a nerve for you?
Drop a comment or share this with a friend who’s been quietly wondering if their chaos has a name too.
You’re not alone. You’re not late. You’re just on the path to knowing yourself better—and that’s something worth celebrating.
For the curious minds:
Mierau, S. B. (2023). Do I have ADHD? Diagnosis of ADHD in adulthood and its mimics in the neurology clinic. Neurology: Clinical Practice, 13(4), e200–e206. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/387219639_Do_I_Have_ADHD_Diagnosis_of_ADHD_in_Adulthood_and_Its_Mimics_in_the_Neurology_Clinic