How to Break Free from All-Or-Nothing Thinking 🔒

Let's explore the topic of all-or-nothing thinking and how it can impact the life of someone with neurodivergence/AuDHD.

All-or-nothing thinking, which is also known as black-and-white thinking, is a cognitive distortion where a person views things as either all good or all bad with no middle ground. This type of thinking can be particularly prevalent for individuals with neurodivergence, like ADHD, autism, or dyslexia.

See, we often struggle with the subtleties in life because our minds prefer things to be simplified. All-or-nothing thinking sometimes feels safer than the gray areas where we can struggle to make sense of things at times. It's a coping mechanism that can help us manage the chaos in our minds, but it can also hold us back and negatively impact our lives in many ways.

When we engage in all-or-nothing thinking, we don't give ourselves the opportunity to see things for what they truly are. We miss out on the nuances and complexities that make life interesting. This type of thinking tells us that we can't make mistakes, that we need to be perfect, or that anything less than perfect is a failure. This kind of thinking eats away at our self-esteem and keeps us stuck in a mindset of negativity, disappointment, and frustration.

All-or-nothing thinking can also lead to a pattern of "extremes." We might go all-in on something for a time, and then get burnt out and head straight to the bottom. It's a never-ending cycle of feeling "on top of the world" or "at the bottom of the pit." This kind of thinking can be exhausting, not just mentally, but for our physical wellbeing too.

So, what can we do about this? The first step is to recognize when we are engaging in all-or-nothing thinking. How we view things is a habit, and like any habit, it can be changed with awareness and practice.

Practice giving yourself and others around you some grace when you find yourself wanting to take an all-or-nothing approach. Rather than framing things as being either good or bad, try to see the shades of gray between them. This might feel uncomfortable and challenging at first, but with time and practice, you'll start to see the benefits of this mindset shift.

As neurodivergent individuals, we're not typically comfortable sitting with the kind of uncertainty that the gray areas present. But if we can learn to reframe this as an opportunity to grow, learn and embrace growth, we can experience a more profound, meaningful, and fulfilling life. All-or-nothing thinking has its place in our world, but it doesn't have to control us. Take a breath, recognize when you're falling into the trap, and choose to see the shades of gray instead of just black and white.

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The Origins of All-Or-Nothing Thinking and the steps for finding your way into the gray area where most of life takes place.