There’s a whole radio station of human interaction that I just don’t pick up.
I was talking with a friend (let’s call him Paul) who walks into social situations like he’s tuned to a frequency I didn’t even know existed.
He hears the static of status games. The coded shifts in power. The slight pivot when someone starts performing instead of being real.
Me? I’m over here with an antenna for heartbreak. For hesitation. For the pause in someone’s voice when they’re trying not to cry.
Paul’s autistic too, but his radar picks up an entirely different signal.
He’s wired to see the unspoken rules of the room.
I’m wired to hear the things people can’t say out loud.
Different channels. Same radio.
As he described the subtle manipulations he can spot in real time, I just blinked and said:
“These dynamics go totally over my head. Thank you, autism.”
Not self-deprecating. Just true.
What Paul sees, I don’t.
But what I hear, he often misses.
We’re tuned to different truths.
I used to feel broken for this.
I once left a birthday party early because I thought everyone was mad at me.
Turns out they were just yelling at a football game I hadn’t noticed was on.
I’ve spent years trying to decode rules I didn’t know existed.
But I’ve also spent years hearing people say “I’m fine” and knowing they weren’t.
I’ve sat with clients, friends, and strangers and heard grief in their silence.
Tension in their breathing.
Hope buried under a sarcastic laugh.
I’m not clueless.
I’m not missing something.
I’m receiving something else entirely.
For years, I mistook my blind spots for failures.
But what I’ve come to realize is this:
I don’t have to hear your frequency to be valid.
I’m tuned in. Just differently.
Paul and I? One of us sees the map. The other feels the weather.
If we stop trying to merge our compasses, we might both get where we’re going.
So no, I won’t win the social chess match.
But I’ll sit beside the person who just lost and notice they’re too tired to ask for help.
And that’s a kind of winning too.
Want more than just perspective?
Book a Power Hour with me: one focused, no-fluff session to get clarity, strategy, or a solid kick in the gears.
Thanks for being you.
— Brian
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