The Values AuDHD Minds Remember That the World Forgot
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Living With AuDHD
Living with AuDHD (Autism plus ADHD) isn’t just “different wiring.” It’s like being a walking time capsule of things the world forgot it valued: presence, honesty, deep curiosity, and living in cycles instead of straight lines.
Seeing What Others Miss
When the world rushes, we catch what others miss: every word in a conversation, the faint tick of a clock in the corner, the emotion you insist you aren’t feeling. It’s not magic; it’s just presence—a skill our ancestors used to survive and connect.
When you get back in touch with it, it becomes more than paying attention. It’s a bridge to the nuances of life. It helps you tune in to the people around you, ground yourself, ease anxiety, and remember you’re not separate from the moment you’re in.
Social Scripts and Truth-Telling
Social scripts? We’re terrible at them. We blurt the truth—not always gracefully, but honestly. We question “why” not to be difficult but because “the way it’s always been done” usually doesn’t work for our brains.
Many communities used to have an unelected truth-teller—the jester, the elder, the one brave enough to say what everyone else whispered.
These days, a lot of us with AuDHD end up in that role without trying: the employee who blurts out how unfair a policy is, the sibling who names the addiction no one wants to see, the friend who stops gossip midstream and suggests going directly to the source.
It can be lonely, but it also drags hidden things into the light where they can finally be addressed—sometimes like the emperor with no clothes.
The Gift of Rabbit Holes
Our curiosity is like an engine that rockets us down rabbit holes until our heads feel stuffed—like Uncle Joe after Thanksgiving, minus the gas.
With these reservoirs of knowledge, we blend ways of thinking like Zen, psychology, and quantum physics. That’s how innovation happens when you operate without a box. That’s how art, wisdom, and entire movements used to be born.
What We Need Now
What we need now is cultural innovation—we don’t need another distraction gadget. We need a focus on how we want to show up for each other without the unapologetic selfishness and cruelty as sport we’ve become used to.
We’re hungry for connection. We skip the small talk and go straight to “Do you use deodorant — are you sure?” We used to be more open and honest with each other, including men. Sharing stories fireside, confessing on the porch at dusk. Today, the same directness can feel invasive, even rude—“How dare you?” You can almost hear the pearls being clutched.
A Different Beat
And our energy comes in bursts: hyperfocus, then a long nap. It’s like planting and harvest, ebb and flow. The Industrial Age gave us 9-to-5, and our rhythm’s been off ever since.
Maybe as you read this you see pieces of yourself—or notice how long it’s been since you gave yourself permission to live like this. That’s the hidden invitation behind these “quirks.” They’re not cute eccentricities; they’re life skills the modern world has relegated to the attic.
The Invitation
The next time you catch yourself rushing past the moment, ask: What would it look like to pause? To tell the truth kindly? To follow curiosity? To rest when your body begs for it?
You don’t have to be AuDHD to model a saner culture. You just have to remember.
Thanks for being you,
Brian
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by Brian R. King, MSW - Hundreds of Subscribers
I write about living and parenting with autism and ADHD from the inside out—sharing real stories, practical tools, and a little humor to make hard stuff easier to hold—so sign up below for grounded insights, fresh resources, and encouragement you can actually use, free.