What to Do When Sadness Feels Like Quicksand

Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken — here’s one way to start moving again.

Sometimes Sadness Feels Like Quicksand — Here’s What Helped Me Get Unstuck

I’ve been feeling low lately — the kind of low where the yucky self-talk sticks like gum to the bottom of your shoe.

A few days ago, I hit a wave of sadness deep enough that it actually had me concerned. Not just the usual low tide — this one had undertow.

In a rare moment of clarity (because let’s be honest, clarity can be hard to find when you're swimming in quicksand), I realized something:

Being miserable wasn’t going to fix anything that was bothering me.

It was like sitting in a broken elevator thinking, "If I panic hard enough, the doors might open." Spoiler: they don’t.

But then came the million-dollar question: how do I actually get out of this funk?

In some random, slightly sideways way (because obviously, the best ideas always show up sideways), I thought:

"Why not try the Yes/And strategy to help shift my thinking?"

So I did. And here’s what it looked like:

🌊🌊🌊

Old Self-Talk: “I’m stuck. I’m never going to feel better.”
Yes/And Shift: "Yes, I feel stuck right now — and feelings ebb and flow. I can ride this out without judging myself for being human."

Old Self-Talk: “I’m so tired of this. I should be stronger.”
Yes/And Shift: "Yes, I’m tired — and pausing is powerful. It’s how I refill the tank."

Old Self-Talk: “Nobody understands what I’m going through.”
Yes/And Shift: "Yes, it feels lonely — and somewhere out there are people who get it, or at least want to try."

🌊🌊🌊

Every time I practiced this, the sadness didn’t exactly vanish in a puff of glitter (although how stimmy would that be?), but it did get a little lighter.

A little less mouthy.
A little more… manageable.
And little by little, hope started to edge back in.

If you’ve been feeling stuck lately too — especially raising a teen or young adult with AuDHD — you’re not alone. I have three adult sons with AuDHD.

It’s easy to feel like the hard moments will last forever. It’s easy to believe that being exhausted or discouraged means you’re failing somehow.

But neither of those things are true.

You’re doing the best you can in the middle of it all, and that is brave work.

Tiny shifts like Yes/And can be a rope you throw yourself — a way to climb out, even when everything feels heavy.

One small, doable step:
The next time you catch yourself thinking something harsh, try adding a gentle “Yes, and…” to it.

You might be surprised how much lighter the load feels when you stop arguing with yourself and start walking yourself through.