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You know that feeling when you finally get into the groove of something—writing an email, folding the laundry, doomscrolling Instagram—and someone walks in and says, “Hey, can you just…?”
Just what? Just rip your brain out of the moment it’s in, throw it into another task, then somehow return like nothing happened?
People with AuDHD (Autism + ADHD) experience something many folks don’t see or understand: transitions aren’t just moments between tasks. They’re mini-marathons for your brain.
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What Is a Transition, Really?
When most people hear the word “transition,” they think about big changes: moving houses, changing schools, starting a new job. But for us, transitions show up everywhere. Tiny, sneaky ones.
Here’s a short list of things that are transitions but don’t always look like it:
Answering a text while cooking dinner
Leaving the house (even just to grab the mail)
Shifting from relaxing to problem-solving
Switching tabs on your computer
Copying from one document and pasting it to another
Talking to your kid after a long work Zoom
Moving from watching a show to getting ready for bed
Cleaning your office or room
Each one requires the brain to disengage from one mode, shift attention, and re-engage in another—a process that depends heavily on executive function. If that system’s got lag, every transition becomes a speed bump on the highway of your day.
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Why Transitions Feel Like Sandpaper on the Brain
Here’s what’s going on under the hood:
For people with AuDHD, attention doesn’t drift easily—it often locks onto a thought or task. We’re either all-in or all-out. That’s great when we’re hyperfocused on something productive. But it’s a nightmare when we need to stop what we’re doing and start something else… especially if it wasn’t our idea.
It’s like your brain is a train on a track. Neurotypical brains might have lots of smooth track switches. Ours? We sometimes have to get out, lift the train, turn it manually, and hope we didn’t pull a muscle doing it.
This is why being asked to “just” do something can trigger stress, shutdown, or irritation. It’s not about being unwilling—it’s about what it costs to switch gears.
It’s not laziness. It’s not avoidance. It’s your brain asking for time to shift gears—and the toll adds up.
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The Invisible Energy Drain
Even if we can make a transition, it doesn’t mean we have the energy to make another one right after. Every pivot uses up spoons (or if you prefer, battery percentage).
So if a teen with AuDHD is zoning out in their room and you pop in and say, “Time to take out the trash,” what you might see is a shrug or resistance. What’s actually happening might be a cascade of micro-transitions:
Shift from internal thoughts or comfort activity → external awareness
Mentally pause or let go of what they were doing
Process what you said (especially if they’re still catching up emotionally)
Motivate themselves to move
Remember the steps involved in doing the task
Override any anxiety or overwhelm about doing it “wrong” or being interrupted
That’s a lot of steps to go from sitting to standing.
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How This Shows Up in Daily Life
The “I’ll do it later” that keeps getting pushed off
The meltdown after seemingly simple requests
The 3-hour recovery after one errand
The dread of going out, even if it’s somewhere fun
The inability to answer a question without losing track of what they were thinking
This isn’t a motivation problem. It’s a momentum problem.
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What Helps
Acknowledge the transition.
Saying something like, “I know this is a shift” can go a long way. It shows empathy and helps the brain label the moment as a transition, which can ease resistance.
Offer a heads-up whenever possible.
“In ten minutes, we’ll need to leave.” This gives the brain time to start loosening its grip on the current task. Once they acknowledge what I said I like to add, “Great, what’s the first thing you’re going to do now?” This helps them shift their mind from what they’re doing to the process needed to be ready on time.
Build in buffer time.
It’s not just about getting from Task A to Task B—it’s about the mental runway to get there.
Use ritual to bridge the transitions.
A drink of water. A stretch. A sound cue. Something—anything—you do after being asked to switch and before you dive into the next thing. I’ve got a bunch of checklists that help me remember the steps for different tasks, just to take the pressure off my brain. That way, I don’t have to organize and transition at the same time—which, let’s be honest, is a recipe for mental static.
Reduce unnecessary transitions when you can.
Back-to-back demands are like opening too many apps at once—you’ll crash the system.
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The Bottom Line
People with AuDHD aren’t being dramatic when they say switching tasks is hard. We’re not just “bad at time-management.” We’re navigating a world that expects seamless transitions on a brain built for depth, not speed.
And when we name the real challenge—when we stop blaming ourselves for being “lazy” or “difficult”—we give ourselves the chance to work with our brains instead of against them.
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