Why Feeling Invisible Hurts More Than We Realize

Last night, I almost cried.

Not because something bad happened, but because I finally had a breakthrough about why my anxiety’s been riding so high these past few months.

Turns out, I’ve been lying to myself. Telling myself, “I don’t care what people think.” And honestly, I believed that… until WHAM! It hit me like a baseball bat to the chest.

There are people I’m still trying to impress. A handful, sure, but enough to mess with my head and my heart.

And it was sneaky, too. All subconscious. I wasn’t walking around thinking about it all day — but I was definitely feeling it. Ending my days sad and defeated if I didn’t feel seen by one of them.

Pretty needy, right?

That’s what the critic in my head tried to say, too. But here’s the thing: it’s human to want to be seen, especially by the people who matter to us.

And if you’re a parent reading this, you know exactly how deep this runs. We watch our kids aching to be seen, to be valued, to be enough. And sometimes — we hurt right alongside them.

It doesn’t make us weak. It doesn’t make them weak.

It makes us human.

So after this realization smacked me upside the head, I did what I always do: I grabbed my journal and wrote like my life depended on it.

Here’s what I found: somewhere deep down, I’d been believing that certain people’s approval was necessary for me to feel successful.

Necessary. Like oxygen.

And yeah, yeah, I know better. I teach this stuff! But when old beliefs are running the show behind the scenes, even the best of us can get caught up.

The good news?

Once I dragged those beliefs out into the light where I could see them, they started losing their grip on me.

And that’s the power of awareness. That’s the power of compassion — for ourselves, for our kids, for anyone stuck in the messy middle of wanting to belong.

If we want better relationships — with ourselves, with our kids, with the world — we have to get curious about the stories playing in the background.

Because when we change those stories, we change our lives.