I Do My Best Thinking Out Loud - Why Is That?

You have a sense of what you want to say but struggle to find a way to say it, right?

If you try figuring it out in your head, it’s like trying to comb your hair during a windstorm - it just won't take shape.

That’s why I sometimes tell others, “I’m going to think out loud for a minute so I can talk my way there.”

For many of us with ADHD, autism, or aphantasia, thinking isn’t easily done behind the scenes. We’re not the Wizard of Oz. Speaking is part of the thinking.

It’s not just a communication style—it’s a processing style. It pulls our thinking out of the constant internal noise we can’t shut off, like moving a conversation from a noisy hallway into a quiet office where you can finally hear every word.

When I do this, I’m not wasting time or making things awkward. I’m giving my brain what it needs to work at its best — instead of shoulding all over it. That’s not something to hide or apologize for. It’s something to own.

This isn’t just about processing my thoughts—it’s about showing up as my real self, so our connection is real too. Masking is for protection, not for connection. I’d rather risk being seen than hide and feel alone.

Thanks for being you,

- Brian | Helping parents of AuDHD teens and young adults create calmer conversations and stronger relationships.